When you’re new to pregnancy and your husband is called for deployment, you really need to prepare yourself emotionally. You’re going to be dealing with all these hormones, so the loneliness can so easily turn into severe depression and anxiety. Here are tips to help you deal with this situation:
Get a friend or family member to stay with you
You really don’t have to spend the entire duration of your pregnancy alone. Reach out to family members and close friends and ask some of them to accompany you in this trying time. Cooking for someone is always better than sulking alone with the dishes from last week still in the kitchen sink.
Find a fun thing to do and turn it into a hobby
Loneliness is even more heightened if you’re bored out of your wits. It’s easier when you keep yourself busy at work, but when you’re pregnant, you don’t really have that option. As an alternative, it’s a good idea to look for a hobby. Whether it’s gardening, cooking, or doing arts and crafts, you’ll find yourself enjoying your maternity leave and pregnancy more.
Going through a part of your 9-month long pregnancy alone can be extremely difficult, even more if it’s because of your husband’s deployment. Sure, you’re going to rake in a ton of spousal benefits, such as housing, employment, food, and health insurance; but the real price to pay here is facing most of your married life physically alone and of course, the underlying fear of losing your husband in battle. These tips will help you turn this situation around in no time.
When your husband is a service member, you’d know how emotional pre-deployment can get. Basically, pre-deployment is a whole emotional cycle in itself. Perhaps the worst part about it is not having a choice. The family has no choice but to endure this emotional cycle and just hope for the best.
Typically, military families are bound by the following emotional states during pre-deployment:
- Lack of trust
- Lack of intimacy for husband and wife
- Denial of what’s to come
- Expectations of loss
For the deployed, there’s usually two main emotions that come into the picture. First, there’s the feeling of anticipated loneliness and separation anxiety. On the other hand, there’s the excitement or anxiety of being in the service with a whole new life in other countries.
To deal with this, we have the oldest trick in the book, and that is to live it out with the entire family as normal as possible. When your husband gets deployed, you may not be able to adjust to new, albeit temporary family conditions, immediately. So while your husband is around, you’ll want to spend each day with the entire family as normal as possible because you won’t be able to do this in the succeeding months.
Going through pre-deployment will always be hard but know that you’re never alone. To ease the loneliness and despair, it’s always a good idea to call up some family members and close friends and let their company alleviate the separation blues.
It’s tough being away from your wife and kids–let alone, experiencing loneliness with limited means to communicate with them during deployment. Even if you’ve managed to thoroughly discuss deployment, talk things through and set a few rules and strategies to cope with the separation easier, you never really know what kind of conditions and limitations you will get to experience once you’re finally deployed. Here are things to consider:
Limited Communication Provisions
During deployment, there are very limited means of communication, especially when you want to keep in touch with your loved ones in America–but bear in mind that limited is still better than none. Some areas and duty stations will have internet access, which is why some service men choose to bring their own personal laptops to take advantage of this provision. If you have internet access, communication will be a breeze. You just have to be careful, though, because otherwise social media can seriously compromise your security
Difficulty in Keeping Schedules
Setting a specific time for communicating with your family may or may not be a good idea. When you’re on deployment, you don’t really get much say in your activities. While there may be provisions for personal time, you’ll never know when a crisis will arise.
The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is communication. Since it is loads more difficult to the military families, the trick is to just make the most out of it. Forego negativity, and just talk to each other with as much love as you can give, even for just a limited time.
How exactly should military families deal with social media, considering the fact that a lot of what being in the military entails is lying low? Here are the major do’s and dont’s:
Keep your profile private. When one of your family members, it is very important to limit your social media network and keep a low profile.
Add people you don’t know personally.
Share military photos in private. Sharing photos is a great way to tell your family members about recent happenings, but it’s best not to share these with the general public.
Compromise operations by posting mission photos.
Communicate with your partner about day to day life. Communication is key to a healthy long-distance relationship.
Share recent upsetting work details. This could hurt a service man’s focus. Furthermore, it could raise anxiety levels in the household by a mile.
In these times, social media sure makes the world go round. Because of the many benefits and activities you can do with it, it is even allowed in the military field. With social media, we are subjecting ourselves to public exposure by posting different photos and other information for the world to see. There’s always going to be news articles that depict the concrete dangers of social media and its influence, but what can we do about it? We have adapted to the social media culture, and with its continued patronage, it’s definitely not going away soon.